My wife is being bullied!

So, here’s the thing… there’s a woman that is close to my wife, she’s generally very friendly and pretty nice to be around. But there’s another side to this person - she can be totally unkind, she can be nasty, in actual fact she can be a real bitch.

My wife is the kindest person I’ve ever met - she is compassionate, nurturing and wears a smile like a weapon to inflict unyielding joy and happiness on those around her. She is a fantastic mother, a beautiful partner and everyone that comes in to contact with her leaves feeling better about themselves and the world. At her workplace she is called the butterfly, as she is always wearing bright colours and spreading smiles.

All of this is in bleak contrast to her childhood experiences. Nai was sexually abused from the age of 3 until about 12 by two different people close to her. She lived in a neglectful home with adults that didn’t protect her. She battled an eating disorder during her teens and has dealt with often crippling anxiety and depression. Despite all of this, she is the most beautiful person and I am extremely lucky that she chooses to spend her free time with me.

It’s for all of these reasons that I can no longer stand by while this person continues to denigrate, abuse and slam my beautiful wife with harshness and untruths. And what’s even worse, it seems that Naomi is the only person that this woman has targeted. To everyone else she is incredibly nice and everyone thinks she is amazing. In fact, she’s also pretty nice to me for most of the time. She’s kind to our daughter and by all reports she’s well liked everywhere. That’s what makes it all the more difficult to deal with.

This woman’s vile words keep Nai up at night, they stop her from sleeping and have started to infiltrate Nai’s daily thoughts. I have felt a little helpless and my role as ‘shield’ has been ineffective. I’ve tried talking calmly to this person, I’ve tried yelling at her, I’ve tried reasoning - nothing seems to help.

I’ve explored expert advice, research articles and sought guidance from others on how a loving husband can support his beautiful wife through what has become an all out attack.

The most complex aspect of this is that no one else has ever witnessed the oppressive persecution - it is hidden, it is secretive and it is sly! It’s a stealth attack from a very competent adversary. Someone who has taken years to perfect their style of attack - it’s undetectable to anyone but the person they wish to bring down.

So, I say to this woman… 

You are a bully. 

You are unkind. 

You have picked an undeserving target and my beautiful wife doesn’t deserve it.

She is better than you in every way and she will rise above this, with my help.

We are too strong for you to break down, even though you have tried.

We will defeat you.

So Nai, when you are reading this, please tell the bully in your mind, that I have had enough and it’s time she left. I love you too much to let you do this to yourself.

 

About the author

Jeremy Hunter is the co-director of Empowering Resources. He is a secondary school teacher, a scuba dive instructor a proud father and an incredibly lucky guy to be marries to such a . beautiful person in Naomi Hunter. He is a passionate advocate for child empowerment and believes that we should be striving for a world where children don't need to recover from their childhoods.